I'm back

Obviously so many things have happened since I last posted. Almost 2 full years ago. There are new people in my life that mean everything to me. There are people who are no longer in my life. New job, new stressors, new everything. It's amazing how much things can change in just two years. I wish I could say why i stopped writing, but I'm not sure why. Maybe I'll just start with why I'm writing again.
First off, the main reason... As most of you know, the guy I thought I was going to marry and I broke up back in March. My doing. I thought it was for the best. Correction, I know it was and is for the best. Though, I didn't know it would take so long to get over him. We were going nowhere, I knew that. He had no plans of marrying me after being together for 2 years. I know he didn't want to deal with Amelia much, and neither of us deserved that. And, truth is, I started falling for someone else. Very fast. Very hard. And it's funny, that guy is now one of my best friends. I tell him everything. Anyway, back to the ex. So, found out he started dating someone else in May. That was okay, we were broken up and no longer on speaking terms. (He read something really private and I knew I couldn't trust him after that.) I, of course, was still in love with him. How could I not be? I spent 2 years with him. I looked at his Facebook, a lot. Fast forward to a week and a half ago. I realized nothing would ever happen between us again. I found out that his girlfriend lives with him (something I asked to do for a long time), she had a promise ring (which I later found out was originally intended to be my engagement ring), and she was pregnant. There went the knife into the heart. Actually, let me be honest, at first, I laughed. I laughed so hard. Karma helped. He will now have a kid that he can't run away from because of a bad mood, which he did to Amelia all the time. Then I took Amelia trick-or-treating in downtown and it hit. He's going to have a child to take trick-or-treating next year, without me. He's going to get those cute baby clothes for Christmas, something we planned for us. He's going to start doing family traditions with his kid. And it broke me. Thinking all those thoughts hurt, so much. I cried. I didn't sleep for two days. During my lack of sleep, I had a bright idea to text him. Why? Because I'm an idiot, that's why. I asked if it was all true. It was. Every bit. Except the ring. She didn't want that ring, so he returned it and bought her a new one. Everything I wanted with him, she now gets. How is that fair?! That's all I could think. What did I do to deserve that? Thanks to some girl friends, my mom, that friend mentioned earlier, and some amazing parents from my work, I realized this isn't a punishment for me. Its showing me how bad things could have been. They're not going to last, not to seem petty or anything, but I doubt they will. Relationships like that don't last forever. I'd be unhappy, and that's not something you want your child to see. That doesn't show them what marriage should be like. Besides, not only do I deserve better, Amelia does too. She deserves someone who loves her as much as I do. Someone who will stay with us, even on the bad days. So for now, I'll continue the single mom thing. One day, hopefully soon, I'll find that guy who will be a great father for Amelia.
Second major reason I'm writing again, besides the fact that it's relaxing and I love to write/type. My little sister, Michaila, is moving. She couldn't do something simple and just move to the next town. No.  She's moving to Texas. She leaves on the sixth. I'm really excited for her, but I'm really jealous. I'd love a fresh start like that. I could use one. But, not only that, she's the youngest sister. She should be the last one out of mom and dad's house. Not me. I'm the one with the kid. Yeah, I know, that has nothing to do with it. But it's a pride thing, I guess. I should've had a place before Amelia was born. But even when I worked management at TSC, I couldn't afford an apartment. People don't realize that it's so expensive to live on your own. Which is why I'm okay with living at home still. Sorry mom and dad, I know y'all want me out.
I think that's it for right now. Thanks for reading!