I hate

So, as you can tell by the title, this is just going to go on about how I've been feeling lately. Then, it will go onto two AMAZING ideas that I had while trying to nap today.
First part, I hate. I hate everything. I hate that I'm short. I hate that I'm gaining weight. I hate that I'm not a virgin. I hate that Mia doesn't have a father. I hate that I decided to take that year off before college. I hate that I can't get into the FBI. I hate that I don't live on the beach. I hate that I can't be a model. I hate that I don't like myself. I hate people. I hate just about everything. I'm apparently a very hateful person. But I really can't help it. I just don't always feel happy like I should. Don't get me wrong though, I love that I'm a mother. I love that I have Amelia, I just hate how it all happened. I mean, think about it. I lost my virginity May 26th. By June 21, I got pregnant. I went 21 years without having sex. Then, in a span of a month and half, I went off the deep end. Starting having sex, started smoking, and got pregnant. That's not how I planned any of my life to go. But, like I said, I've got my miracle princess.
Now, the two ideas I had. First, I'm gonna write a book. What will this book be about, you may be wondering. The Ooga Booga killer!!! Her name is Lacey von Wilken. Where did that name come from? I have no idea. Just randomly popped in my head. I thought it was cool. It'll tell her story about how she became a killer and why. I'm going to write notes on what I plan to do with the book and then I'll write about it on here and see if anyone thinks its a good idea or not.
The second idea... I want to start a charity. I want to sell shirts that say something like "Aspie and proud" and "Autistic and proud". The money from these shirts will go towards building a little society of assisted living for people on the spectrum. Not all autistic people are able to live on their own, some may want to but can't. Some may have to. So, with this little place, they can. But, they'll have any and all help they'll need. I was only thinking about this because I was thinking how, no matter how much that I pray to the Goddess that this won't happen, my parents won't always be here. I won't be able to live on my own. If there was a place like that, I would be able to. How will the people be able to afford this? I'm thinking either donations or insurance. Haven't really thought of that part yet.
Last thing, that is sorta random, but really isn't. I'm going to find a therapist and be completely diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome. Why? To be able to get certain people off my back and just accept that that's how I am, and its not going to change. Also, maybe get disability and work on the book mentioned above and work on my jewelry. Besides the fact that, this way, I can stay home with Mia. Which, if you know me at all, that's all I really want. Well, let me know what you guys think about all this. Thank you for reading. Means a whole bunch to me that people even care. Helps me, too, mentally and emotionally.

10/7/15

Sorry, it's been awhile since I've written. Haven't really had much to talk about. I've been trying to get started on Christmas shopping. I've bought something for Kenzie and Trinity and something for my father. I have a few ideas on what I should get Mia, but haven't started buying her stuff yet. My first idea is this rocking horse. It makes galloping noises and neighing noises. If she can sit on it, I think she'll love it. It's about $70. Not too bad cause she can use it for a few years. The other thing is the fisher price BeatBo. Every time there is a commercial on for it, she stares at it and gets all excited. It's only $40, so right now she's at $110. I wan't to spend at least $150 for her first Christmas. I just don't know what else to get her. If anyone has any advice, that'd be great!
Otherwise, what has happened... She is about 15 pounds. Twenty-five and a half inches tall. And, she is absolutely amazing! Though, I've always thought that.
I really don't have much else to mention, sadly. Nothing else has happened. I mean, I believe I've mentioned how men suck. If not, guess what! Men suck. All men do. At least the ones I keep finding. Mom wants to set me up on a dating site, but I don't know how I feel about that. They could be an axe murderer. Or, maybe they're the Ooga Booga Killer. Which, if I, for some weird reason, that will be my name. I'll go into a persons room and yell, "Ooga Booga MotherF*cker!"
That's it for now. Thank you for reading. Please keep reading.