April 26, 2019

Want to know the hardest part of having Asperger's? When you realize that you really won't get to do all the things you wanted to do. I'm never going to have my sanctuary center. I'll never have my farmhouse that I've wanted. Realizing that there are things that I won't be able to do. I'll never live without someone to help me. You don't think certain disorders will actually stop you from living your life, but they do. You don't even realize it, either. That's the worst part. Not even realizing that it stops you at things. You think you're doing everything correctly, but you're not. Maybe that's just me.
I have officially started medicine for my high cholesterol. I'm not overweight (by much), but I could probably eat better to control it. The worst part is that I also have low blood sugar. Talk about a contradiction. The low blood sugar isn't as bad as the cholesterol is. My problem, I'm only 26! I have all these issues going on. (Thanks mother). I don't think my body realizes how young it really is. My knees still have issues. I'm starting to think it's not tendonitis, like my doctor originally thought. Maybe it's something worse?
Then the bee sting on top of everything else. I just need to be in a bubble. My boss asked me to write a list of my allergies. There were 13 that I could remember. I'm sure there is more, but I have no clue. Thankfully, most of them are minor allergies that can be taken care of with allergy medicine. I'll just have to keep taking that on a daily basis. As well as having my EpiPen on hand, at all times. Which, I already did.
I guess that's really been the only things to happen lately. We all know my life is pretty boring. Though, the Asperger's part has been on my mind, a lot, lately. Every time I think of the life I want to give Mia but can't unless I get help from someone. It hurts.

April 3, 2019

It's been awhile, I know. I'm getting really bad at remembering to write. Actually, it's not really that, my life is just that boring. Since the last time I wrote; Amelia turned 4, I had my last day at alphabest, and that's about it.
Amelia has started being really bad lately. Not sure why. Probably my crappiness at parenting, or the age, or its what she sees happening. I'm not sure. I do know, that with this week of being home, she's learning that she's not going to get away with everything. She's starting to listen when I raise my voice.
My last day at alphabest was really difficult. I cried, a lot. Those were my kids for almost 2 years. They will always be a part of me. Only a week and a half and I miss them like crazy. I'm actually going to visit them tomorrow! Maybe since hours are so low, at my new job, I can substitute. But, that would make it harder to say goodbye to the kids again.
I am loving my new job, though. It's awesome! There are so many dogs. It doesn't feel like a job. I mean, I get paid to play with dogs! Of course, feeding and bathing and cleaning up after them are part of the job, but that's okay!! I get to spend time with dogs! There's a few there that are so sweet. I look forward to seeing them when I go in.  They're there a lot since they're the owners (of the boarding kennel) dogs. It's awesome! Seriously, I don't think i can say that enough. Especially this one dog that was taught to give hugs. She's the sweetest.
Unfortunately, like I said, my life isn't that entertaining.