There are two things that I have decided to do. One of them is to take Amelia to Paris for her fifth birthday. The second is to make/set up my sanctuary center. To take Amelia to Paris will cost about five grand for her, myself, and my mom. It's about $3500 for flight and hotel. Thankfully, I have about five years to save the money. I'm thinking that, instead of birthday presents or anything, we get money. Seeing as she won't really start remembering anything, I think raising money for her will be okay, if it's to make her first memory amazing. I mean, my first memory is when I dislocated my hip at age four. I'm thinking that the first memory happens around four to five years old and it should be something big, really. So, taking her to Paris; our first time on an airplane, going somewhere outside of the US, should be a very memorable event. Seeing as I've always wanted to go there, its a great opportunity.
Now, the Sanctuary Center. I've always wanted to open one so that, when people need to give up an animal, they'll know they won't be put down. It's not fair to the animals that their life has to end just because their owners decided they can't keep them. I don't see how anyone can ever decide to do that. My animals are a part of the family. You don't just up and decide you don't want your child anymore, do you? I need to figure out how much money I need to raise to start this, as well as, the size of the building. Obviously, it will be nonprofit, and most money will go into upgrading the place. Do I want it to be just dogs? Dogs and cats? Or any animal. Of course, I can hire people to deal with the animals I don't like, like snakes. This way though, I can finally fulfill my dream, and make it so Amelia is taken care of. Amelia has been raised around animals already, so I'm hoping she'll like them like her Mommy. Maybe it can even be a Mommy-Daughter thing. And, if I have more kids (just one more) it can be just a family thing. That would be amazing! I still have a lot of things to figure out for this one... Cost? Animals? Location? Name? Etc.
Lastly, this is a question that I would love answers to. If I set up a GoFundMe for either of these, would any one donate? For Paris, if you wanted to, I would like to just get help affording this with birthdays or Christmas. As far as the Sanctuary, that's up to you. I know the animals around here would thank you. Just think of your loving pet. What would you want to happen with them if you can't keep them for some reason. Please, either comment on here or message me on Facebook.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Saturday, June 20, 2015
3 months old
My little princess. The light of my world. My heart and soul. My miracle. My gift. My daughter is 3 months old today. She just needs to stop growing up. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait for her to be a big girl cause what mother isn't excited to go hang out with her daughter. Go get our nails done. Go shopping. Have her tell me about her day. Have her actually tell me what's wrong instead of having to guess each time. I can't wait to see how she grows up and what a wonderful young lady she will be. But, I don't want her to grow up just yet? Can't we wait just a little longer? I just love my little princess more than anything in the world. Happy 3 month birthday, sweetie pie.
Friday, June 19, 2015
NSFD: Not Safe For Daddy
(This doesn't have to deal with the actual post, but I just need to vent... Don't tell me you miss me and wish we can hang out if you decide to have some sort of get together/party and don't invite me. That just shows that we really weren't friends, were we?)
So, this is about what happened June 21, 2014. I really haven't told many people cause I don't 100% know what happened.
I went to my then boyfriends-sister's wedding, it was kinda fun. Basically, the beginning part doesn't matter really. A friend of his brought some vodka with him and, of course, had to have some. I remember taking two shots then asking my boyfriend to grab me a bottle of water. Next thing (TMI) I started my period. I needed pads but no one had any, thankfully, this was during the reception, so we waited a little longer then left. We went to his friends house to stay the night... This is where things get weird. I don't remember much from that night at this point. I don't know the order of all the events but this is what I remember... I remember randomly gaining conscience while walking to his car. I remember asking "Where are we going?" He replied, "You said you wanted to go to my car, so we're going." Now, his friend lived on the second floor of a building. I don't remember walking down the stairs or anything, I just remember when we started walking into the street. Then, I was basically out again. Next thing I remember was him being on top of me, in his car. Then I was out again. Now, I'm not sure when the next part happened... If it was before or after all that, but I remember being right outside his friends house and somehow he had convinced me to give him oral. It was the most awkward thing ever. I just wish that could be one of the things I didn't remember.
There has been speculation that I was drugged when I got my then boyfriend to bring me a water bottle or that I just drank to much. But, to be honest, I don't remember. I just know that when you're blacking out, no matter if you supposedly initiated it, there should be no sex, what-so-ever. At that point, it's not consensual. It's rape.
Now, I hope people understand why I keep saying I will not have sex again. I have no desire. How many bad experiences does someone have to go through before they decide to just take the whole thing off the table. One really bad part, this guy that did this is most likely Amelia's father. (Yes, I don't know for sure.) He will not be part of her life. Now, you can understand why. He wasn't a good person. And, thanks to him, I don't want to have sex again, ever. But, I don't want Mia to be an only child. It's not her fault, and from the people I've talked to, who are only children, its not fun. They don't have that automatic friend that kids with siblings do. I don't want her to be too old when she has a sibling, five years old at most. Now, just have to figure out how to do that.
Thank you for reading this one. It's probably the hardest one to write.
So, this is about what happened June 21, 2014. I really haven't told many people cause I don't 100% know what happened.
I went to my then boyfriends-sister's wedding, it was kinda fun. Basically, the beginning part doesn't matter really. A friend of his brought some vodka with him and, of course, had to have some. I remember taking two shots then asking my boyfriend to grab me a bottle of water. Next thing (TMI) I started my period. I needed pads but no one had any, thankfully, this was during the reception, so we waited a little longer then left. We went to his friends house to stay the night... This is where things get weird. I don't remember much from that night at this point. I don't know the order of all the events but this is what I remember... I remember randomly gaining conscience while walking to his car. I remember asking "Where are we going?" He replied, "You said you wanted to go to my car, so we're going." Now, his friend lived on the second floor of a building. I don't remember walking down the stairs or anything, I just remember when we started walking into the street. Then, I was basically out again. Next thing I remember was him being on top of me, in his car. Then I was out again. Now, I'm not sure when the next part happened... If it was before or after all that, but I remember being right outside his friends house and somehow he had convinced me to give him oral. It was the most awkward thing ever. I just wish that could be one of the things I didn't remember.
There has been speculation that I was drugged when I got my then boyfriend to bring me a water bottle or that I just drank to much. But, to be honest, I don't remember. I just know that when you're blacking out, no matter if you supposedly initiated it, there should be no sex, what-so-ever. At that point, it's not consensual. It's rape.
Now, I hope people understand why I keep saying I will not have sex again. I have no desire. How many bad experiences does someone have to go through before they decide to just take the whole thing off the table. One really bad part, this guy that did this is most likely Amelia's father. (Yes, I don't know for sure.) He will not be part of her life. Now, you can understand why. He wasn't a good person. And, thanks to him, I don't want to have sex again, ever. But, I don't want Mia to be an only child. It's not her fault, and from the people I've talked to, who are only children, its not fun. They don't have that automatic friend that kids with siblings do. I don't want her to be too old when she has a sibling, five years old at most. Now, just have to figure out how to do that.
Thank you for reading this one. It's probably the hardest one to write.
Monday, June 15, 2015
June 15, 2015
I've realized something, and I don't know if this is the true moment I became a Mom and not just a mother, but whenever I look at Amelia, I just smile. She is the light of my world. It doesn't matter if I had a bad day at work or I'm depressed, just holding her makes everything right. I'm so thankful that I get to be the mother of this beautiful, amazing, adorable, little girl. I don't know how anyone can look at their child and not see that. This little human being doesn't know hate. She just knows love. That's one of the many, many, reasons I love her more than anything in the world. Then there are those times where she just looks at me and smiles and there is nothing wrong with the world.
This is going to sound silly, but I think I want to take Mia to Paris for her 5th birthday. Her memory is formed around that age, so she'll remember it and I can finally go there. Hopefully, I can save enough money and she'll want to go. Which also means, I'll accept any donations to go! I think it will be a very good experience for Amelia. Getting to travel to a new country at such a young age, it'll give her an experience no other kids will have had then. Sadly, we still have to wait 5 years to go. IF I can save up the money in time. I'm not even sure how much I need to save up. Maybe like $5000 or so. I should research that.
Mom and I are planning to take Mia camping for the first time over my birthday. We'll be going to Jacksonville, FL and going to a parade they have for Wiccans. I plan to take Mia to the zoo so she can see the birds, since she's in love with those. I've just been wanting to go to the beach since I haven't been in a few years, but I wanted to go camping, as well. Then, Mom heard about the parade going on and we decide to just do it all together. That means I have a few months to be able to lose some weight and feel confident in a bathing suit. I think that's all for today.
This is going to sound silly, but I think I want to take Mia to Paris for her 5th birthday. Her memory is formed around that age, so she'll remember it and I can finally go there. Hopefully, I can save enough money and she'll want to go. Which also means, I'll accept any donations to go! I think it will be a very good experience for Amelia. Getting to travel to a new country at such a young age, it'll give her an experience no other kids will have had then. Sadly, we still have to wait 5 years to go. IF I can save up the money in time. I'm not even sure how much I need to save up. Maybe like $5000 or so. I should research that.
Mom and I are planning to take Mia camping for the first time over my birthday. We'll be going to Jacksonville, FL and going to a parade they have for Wiccans. I plan to take Mia to the zoo so she can see the birds, since she's in love with those. I've just been wanting to go to the beach since I haven't been in a few years, but I wanted to go camping, as well. Then, Mom heard about the parade going on and we decide to just do it all together. That means I have a few months to be able to lose some weight and feel confident in a bathing suit. I think that's all for today.
Monday, June 1, 2015
June 1, 2015
We're going to jump around a bit on this post. Going to cover a few topics. Goodness, that sounds like I'm teaching a class or something. Its really just four things though, all pretty short.
Amelia is finally on a sleep schedule. She has to be in bed around 8 pm or she gets really, really, fussy. Like, she will scream, fussy! Thankfully, this has gotten me used to a sleep schedule. It just sucks when I have to work past her bed time. My mom has been an AMAZING help. She's been babysitting Mia for me while I'm at work. She may say its hard and all, but she loves it. Don't believe her ;) That brings me to my next topic, needing a babysitter for when my parents go on trips. I don't trust enough people to watch my daughter. Who knows what could happen if I trust the wrong person. People are telling me to check out care.com because they've gone through the checks and all, but I just don't know. You can always lie on certain things. I could be hiring a murderer or a kidnapper. I would rather just not work while my parents are on trips than trust the wrong person. I know, I watch too many crime shows. As a new mom though, I can't help but fear the worse. I even made sure to get the blood sample when she was born as a precaution. Then again, this society now-a-days sucks. I don't trust people at all. Last thing, about Amelia, there is a photo contest that I put her in. Its voted on by others and the winner gets $250. That's not why I entered it though. My daughter is absolutely beautiful. (I know, I'm biased) I think she can totally be a model, like her mommy could if I had confidence and loved the camera like she does. So, if you don't mind voting and getting friends to vote, that would be amazing!!! And they also pick 4 random winners, too, but you need 20 votes to be eligible for that. (http://thecutekid.com/photo-contests/20150601/baby-photo-contest-1433164511)
Something about me now. You may have seen my status on Facebook about it, but this customer told me that my name was stupid. He was an asshole from the beginning. The moment he walked in, something seemed off. Him and his girl friend came in for a dog crate and he started bitching (excuse my language) that the crate was used. I knew it wasn't because none of the crates have been. He said there were scratches all on it, but there weren't. There was dust, that's about it. He was just in a bad mood to begin with. Then, my boss and I both told him that it wasn't used and that he wasn't getting a discount. I think that's what set him off the edge and why he said I had a stupid name. It seriously bugged me a lot more than it should have. I actually considered hitting this guy. But, I knew I couldn't risk my job due to supporting Mia. I just can't believe it bugged me as much as it did. I'll get over it, though. That is all for today, though. Thank you for reading, if you did.
Amelia is finally on a sleep schedule. She has to be in bed around 8 pm or she gets really, really, fussy. Like, she will scream, fussy! Thankfully, this has gotten me used to a sleep schedule. It just sucks when I have to work past her bed time. My mom has been an AMAZING help. She's been babysitting Mia for me while I'm at work. She may say its hard and all, but she loves it. Don't believe her ;) That brings me to my next topic, needing a babysitter for when my parents go on trips. I don't trust enough people to watch my daughter. Who knows what could happen if I trust the wrong person. People are telling me to check out care.com because they've gone through the checks and all, but I just don't know. You can always lie on certain things. I could be hiring a murderer or a kidnapper. I would rather just not work while my parents are on trips than trust the wrong person. I know, I watch too many crime shows. As a new mom though, I can't help but fear the worse. I even made sure to get the blood sample when she was born as a precaution. Then again, this society now-a-days sucks. I don't trust people at all. Last thing, about Amelia, there is a photo contest that I put her in. Its voted on by others and the winner gets $250. That's not why I entered it though. My daughter is absolutely beautiful. (I know, I'm biased) I think she can totally be a model, like her mommy could if I had confidence and loved the camera like she does. So, if you don't mind voting and getting friends to vote, that would be amazing!!! And they also pick 4 random winners, too, but you need 20 votes to be eligible for that. (http://thecutekid.com/photo-contests/20150601/baby-photo-contest-1433164511)
Something about me now. You may have seen my status on Facebook about it, but this customer told me that my name was stupid. He was an asshole from the beginning. The moment he walked in, something seemed off. Him and his girl friend came in for a dog crate and he started bitching (excuse my language) that the crate was used. I knew it wasn't because none of the crates have been. He said there were scratches all on it, but there weren't. There was dust, that's about it. He was just in a bad mood to begin with. Then, my boss and I both told him that it wasn't used and that he wasn't getting a discount. I think that's what set him off the edge and why he said I had a stupid name. It seriously bugged me a lot more than it should have. I actually considered hitting this guy. But, I knew I couldn't risk my job due to supporting Mia. I just can't believe it bugged me as much as it did. I'll get over it, though. That is all for today, though. Thank you for reading, if you did.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)