February 18, 2015

Baby shower is in ten days. I'm really excited, but nervous. What if Amelia decides that that's the day she wants to come out? I can see it now. In the middle of the shower just look at my mom... "hey mommy.... water broke" Am I the only one that is scared of that? Also, I'm scared to death of going into labor. It just doesn't seem real. I try to think about it to prepare myself, but it just seems weird. Actually, the fact that I am pregnant is still a bit weird. Still seems unreal. And to think, in a little over five weeks, she'll be here. It's actually very nerve racking. Knowing that I have people who will be helping me, makes it a little better. Still scary though.
As many of you know, my dream has always been to be a model. Well, earlier last year, I applied for a school for modeling. This school has had the most models come out. Last night I got an answer from them finally... I was accepted. This is a dream come true. But, I have a small problem with that... I am 34 weeks pregnant. I doubt they'll still want me. They do have people who modeled for BabiesRUs. Maybe they could use another pregnant lady. The email said to call and go to Baltimore to meet with a few agents. Again, though... 34 weeks pregnant. I know I should call them and see if they could use a pregnant model or wait for me to get my body back. Should only be about four months to get it back. My dream is so close I can taste it. But again, pregnant. I don't regret being pregnant at all, I just wish they would've waited a few more months to finally respond.
Lastly, Amelia is really trying to get out. There has been so much pain, nausea, exhaustion, etc. She has been moving so much. And, she loves hitting my bladder, I swear. It must be her favorite pastime or something. I'm seriously ready for her to come out already. I don't want her out too early that I have to see her in NICU. I just want to meet my baby girl. Soon, hopefully.  

February 11th

I thought it's been a lot longer since I last wrote. Not even a week yet. Either way, time to update what's going on in the world of Amelia and Amanda. Ready? Nothing. Seriously. My life is so boring once again. I did have some serious pains the other night. To the point where they stopped me in my tracks. They weren't contractions though. They didn't last long enough, so I'm guessing they were Braxton Hicks. Very painful little suckers though. I couldn't sleep that night. Finally passed out a little after 1am. And we had Kenzie spend the night that night, so she has me up at 10. I get that that's 9 hours of sleep, if you don't count the constantly waking up to pee or get comfortable. But, alas, I am 8 months pregnant, so I like my sleep. Especially now knowing once Amelia is here, I can say good bye to sleep.
A little while ago, Amelia's possible father contacted me trying to see how I was doing and to see if she's his, but I don't really know if she is. Either way, when I told him I was pregnant he said that she can't be his and if she is, he wants nothing to do with her. But now he does. Granted, I'd rather this guy be her father than the other one, but I don't want him around her either. I've been thinking of an ultimatum... Either he stays away or he can see her on occasion but then I get child support. Now first, I do have to find out if she is his or not. If she's the other guys, I want nothing to do with him. I'll get a lawyer to take away any parental rights he may have. Hopefully that won't be too hard. I don't want to be a total bitch, but I know we're both much better off without him.
I was hoping to do some shopping for Amelia with my tax money, but I really didn't get anything back. It sucks. Thankfully, she has grandma and grandpa ;)

New Doctor

Went to see a new OBGYN today. They were much nicer than the last place I went to. You could tell they actually cared what I had to say. The nurse was very helpful as well. Apparently, with me having dislocated my hip when I was four years old can actually cause problems during delivery. The last place didn't seem concerned by that. The whole practice was actually a lot more relaxing. There weren't any annoying people who thought they were better than every one else in the waiting area. At the last place, it felt like every one was more important than I was. Not saying I'm the most important person, but it would be nice to know I'm important. Also, with the new place, there wasn't any "white trash" there on their cell phones, yelling, so everyone knows what they're talking about. I remember one time, waiting for my name to be called at the old place, I heard a woman "talking" on her phone about how she didn't have an STD like her girl friend said she did which means her girl friend had to have cheated on here and got it. None of this stuff at the new place. And!! Only one midwife. How great is that?! I won't have to see 20 different people from here until birth and then not know who will be delivering my baby. Now, I just need to finish my birth plan, register at the hospital, and have a baby shower, and then meet my beautiful little miracle.