Vacation

Unfortunately, vacation wasn't as nice as I had hoped. Don't get me wrong, Florida was beautiful. Absolutely warm, amazing, and just all around great. I hate leaving there. Sadly, I got sick. While shopping in Downtown Disney, which is basically a really large outdoor shopping mall, I got sick. Like, throwing up in the middle of a large shopping mall. Now, for someone with Asperger's, this is even worse than it sounds. So many people stopped and watched. It was horrible. The attention was on me, all on me. I couldn't handle it. I'm not sure if it was the vomiting or the Asperger's or the pregnancy, but I cried. And, I kept apologizing to my mom, over and over again. She actually had to tell me to stop.
As for the pregnancy, been hitting a rocky road lately. Second trimester hits and then I start getting my morning sickness. Of course, its never in the morning either. Hits around 1:30pm, sometimes later. The worst part... I've been having these pains, too. My leg will start hurting around mid-day and its always near my knee cap. It basically feels like my whole leg goes numb, but not numb because I can feel it and hurts like heck. Then, later in the afternoon, my lower abdomen starts hurting. Like cramps, but more painful. I normally curl up in bed at this point. The "cramps" hit around 6-7 pm. Lately, its been early bed times for me. Now, here's the problem with all this, I still have a job. I either work until 4:30, or I go in at 4. Anyone else see the issues with all this? How am I going to be able to handle working like this, with the pains and all.
People advise to "work around your morning sickness" which basically means, if you get it in the morning, work at night. If you get it at night, work in the morning. What are you supposed to do when your morning sickness hits mid-day? Now, for example, it's 1:39pm, and my leg pain started over an hour ago. No sickness yet. Then again, haven't eaten yet. Probably should do that... Thankfully, OBGYN appointment tomorrow afternoon, coincidentally at 1:30. So, they'll get to see my pain and sickness in all its glory. Yay....  

Vacation and Second trimester

Tomorrow, my mom and I go on vacation. I am so excited! It's a mixture of a birthday present (which was 4 days ago) and payment for always staying back to take care of the animals while everyone else went on vacations. They went about 7 times this past year, without me. Now, seeing as I just turned 22, they shouldn't have to take me with them every time, but its rough staying back every time with 6 house-hold animals and 8 outside animals(chickens and ducks). For a week each time. Its difficult. This is also, most likely, my last vacation before giving birth.
Speaking of that, today is the first day of my second trimester. Its supposed to be easier from right, at least that's what I've been told. I've gotten some of my registry done. Everything that can be gender neutral, at least. After I find out the sex, I'll finish the rest. Of course, like before, my momma will be right by my side. Picking out stuff that Grandma just has to have to spoil her newest grandchild. I think she is more excited than I am at times. I'm still nervous, beyond belief. Am I ready to be a mother? Not in the slightest. I know, with the help of my family, I'll be okay and able to do it. It's just hard to realize that at week 13. You think that your life is ending, but you know, deep down, its really just beginning.
Back to vacation, FLORIDA! Leaving in the morning tomorrow, "whenever we get up and motivated" mom said. I said that we just have to leave by 10am, that way it'll still be sunny when we got to our half-way point to stop for the night. As well as, it'll be bright when we drive through my home state, North Carolina! We'll be gone for a week. We already have plans to be lazy. Except, we'll be doing shopping, museums, and the beach, at least one of those days. CSI museum and a Titanic museum...I'm not sure which I'm more excited for. Even though we can't do them back-to-back because I'm supposed to sit and relax, doctors orders. We're even supposed to stop, at least, every two hours during the drive to prevent blood clots. Gonna be great... ;-)

September 12...

Today is Paul Walker's 41st birthday. For those of you who didn't know, he passed in a terrible car accident on November 30, 2013. The word "obsessed" doesn't even begin to cover me. I have a tattoo in honor of him, and with having Asperger's, his death hit me hard. I felt like he was family. People just don't understand that, really. They kept telling me to get over it, that I didn't know him personally. In the mind of an Aspie, I did know him. He was family. I never missed a movie he had coming out. I would be there opening night. Every time. When he had passed, I cried, and cried, and cried. I stayed away from everyone for a few days. I really took it hard. I still am. It's still really hard to explain exactly how I feel without sounding insane.

Anyway, this blog is about having Asperger's and being pregnant. I've covered the Aspie part, now for pregnancy. How does Paul Walker connect to being pregnant? No, he's not the father, as much as I wish. See, I'm the type of person who believes in ghosts and that they can visit people. I've been 'visited' a few times by Paul. Well, twice so far. Some people can see spirits at any time, I can only see them in dreams. There is a difference when its a dream and a visit. It's more realistic if it's a visit. In dreams, you can't really feel things; in a visit you can. It's just like real life, but you're asleep.

The first time Paul visited me, had nothing to do with being pregnant. It was mainly just him telling me that I'll be okay, that I need to accept what happened. Which, I did. Granted I don't like it, but I know it happened. The second time, it was about the pregnancy. He told me I was going to have a girl and that I would be late going into labor. He told me I'm going to be a week late. I also promised him that I would somehow name my child after him. So, I've looked at important female names in his movies; like girl friends, kids, even pets. In case it's a boy, he'll obviously be named after one of Paul's characters. Now, I do sound insane...

Trip to the ER

Last Saturday, had to go to the ER for bleeding during pregnancy. For someone who always thinks the worst is happening, this was not a fun trip. I was so panicked. As was my mother. Bleeding, stomach cramps, headaches. It was concerning. First thought we all had was miscarriage. Now, how does this relate to me having Asperger's? On my birthday, I'll have had this one single stuffed animal, named Banjo, for 10 years. Banjo was right beside me in the ER. He makes me feel safe. So safe that I can't sleep without him. Especially, when
I'm nervous. Needless to say, banjo will be with me a lot more often. Now, back to the ER part. Everything is okay. I had to be on bed rest for a few days until the bleeding had stopped. Thankfully it has stopped. The only problem now is that I don't weigh enough. Almost 3 months along and I'm only 95 pounds. This is not good, obviously. If you didn't know, I've been struggling with Anorexia for a couple years. Take someone with that and get them pregnant and make them have to eat, it's not simple. I do still have that "I'm getting fat" thought but I know it's healthy for the baby. I just don't see it as that, just yet. But, I need to. I think that's about it for now.