You ever just feel like you're a disappointment? This isn't one of those post where I want people to tell me I'm not one, I just want to be heard. I want to say how I feel without people telling me to stop thinking this way. Ok? I feel like a major disappointment to my family. Especially to my parents and Amelia. Michaila is getting ready to go off to college. Naturally, my parents are excited. Who wouldn't be? And, I'm not trying to make this all about me, but I just can't help but think how I let my parents down. They had expectations for me. Any parent would. I already do for Amelia. But see, I didn't go to college. I've had minimum wage jobs since high school. Haven't made more than $10,000 a year. Then I got pregnant. Wasn't married. Not even with the father now. I feel like I'm a major screw up. I have had bigger dreams for myself. But, I don't want to go to college. I don't want to live on my own. Hell, I don't want to be 22. I want to be my parents little girl forever. Unfortunately, we know that can't happen. I think that is a major factor in why I have depression. I'm sure having Asperger's doesn't help in any of this. I know that's a main reason I'm afraid to go to college. I need to stop thinking about myself though. It's not just about me anymore. Its about Amelia and what's best for her. Everything I do, is for her. But, I just can't bring myself to even want to go to college. I think that covers it, really. Thank you.
You can always follow in your mommy's footsteps and go to an online college, if you want. We are disappointed that you didn't go to college but YOU are NOT a disappointment!! You know you want the best for Mia and that's what we want for you. We love you! <3
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