May 13

There are a few things that have happened recently. We have Mother's Day, my training day, and my first official day of work. First off, my first Mother's Day. I really didn't do much. I laid with Amelia and watched movies most of the day. It was, honestly, a great way to spend the day. I would like to do that more often, to be honest. She's such a great snuggler. I would complain about not getting a gift for Mother's Day, but I did. My gift was Mia. Everyday I get to spend with her is a gift, especially when you think of how neither of us were expected to make it after delivery. I'm not mentioning that to get sympathy, its just so weird to think about it. Knowing you and your daughter, the love of your life, weren't supposed to make it but you did. Every day is a miracle. You don't realize that until something happens. That's whats wrong with people nowadays. They take everything for granted. Don't get my wrong, I did, too. Apparently, I just needed a rude awakening. Back to Mother's Day, though. Just having Amelia in my arms was a good enough for me. Have I mentioned how much I love her? It's probably a tad bit unhealthy. Oh well.
Secondly, my first day of training. It was only two and a half hours long, full of watching videos. So many videos. Either way, those two and a half hours were torture. I missed Mia so very much. I don't know how other mothers can do that. I was ready to cry. Jumping to my first official day at work. That was even worse!!! I cried my way home. It was a five hour shift. Half was more computer training stuff and the other half was learning and recovering the store. I do like it there. It takes me back to my FFA days, which I've missed. Not going to lie. But, I can't handle being away from my baby that long. I was going through withdrawals. Then to add to it, I made the mistake of not pumping while at work. I should have. I was in so much pain when I hit the four hour mark. Maybe if I pump right before going into work, I'll be able to make it until I get off, without pain. I just feel awkward asking if I could go pump. Am I supposed to go to the bathroom and pump? According to the law, they can't make me pump in the bathroom. Then again, where else would I go? I can't sit in the break room and pump. And, am I supposed to clock out when I pump? It takes about a good 20 minutes to pump enough that I won't have pain. I know I should be asking my boss this, but my boss is male, and if you know me well enough, you know that I'll be nervous to ask something like that. Today, I have another five hour shift... We'll see how this goes.