Asperger's and parenthood

One of the worse things to ever realize is that you're not going to be the mother you wanted to be. Due to the Asperger's, I'm not going to be able to do half the things I want. I know I'm going to need help. Hearing that a doctor thinks you won't be able to do it on your own just hurts you even more. I've known I wouldn't be able to raise a child on my own, but hearing someone else say it, just makes it real. I know some of you who are reading this are going to say I can do it on my own, but I also know that's not true. I can't even take care of myself on my own, I know I can't take care of Amelia on my own. Thankfully, I have my parents who are going to help me. I just feel bad for making such a huge, not mistake but accident, I guess, and making it so my parents have to help raise a child. They've done their share and their youngest just turned 18. Now, I'm making them go another 18 years because I was stupid and, well, stupid. I can admit that. This wasn't supposed to be me. I was supposed to be the goody-two-shoes. Now, look at me. 31 weeks pregnant, single, living at home with parents, no college, and currently can't work. I know I'm not supposed to beat myself up or stress myself out, but sometimes, I just can't help it. This is not what I had planned for myself and I know this is not what my parents had planned for me. Sometimes, its just hard to except that what's happening is happening and I can't do much about it. Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes that reason doesn't appear for awhile. Don't get me wrong, I have never been more excited in my life than I am to meet my baby girl, but I'm scared to death about it, too. What if I'm not a good mother? What if she hates me? Or, what if something goes wrong? I'm just paranoid. I know this. Can't really help it though. I, also, know I'm not prepared at all for her to get here. I was going over what you need for the hospital bag, and I have like one thing. Which is onesies. That is it. We don't even have a crib or anything. I need to get everything figured out soon. As soon as taxes come back, I'm sure my mom and I will be buying just about everything off my registry at Babies R Us.